


Ocean eyes.

by lightmypath



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Cuddling & Snuggling, Depression, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Lance has depression, M/M, Self-Harm, Shiro is Keith's older brother, Sleepovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-24
Updated: 2018-08-24
Packaged: 2019-07-01 22:11:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15783132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lightmypath/pseuds/lightmypath
Summary: Laughing and smiling were always one of the first words to float in the air whenever someone described Lance’s personality. People who knew Lance better would know, even by the most unnoticeable move, that there was something hidden behind those laughs and giggles; whenever they were fake or would reach Lance’s eyes. Sadly nobody found the courage to bring it up and ask what was wrong or, in Lance’s opinion, nobody should spend their time worrying about someone like him.





	Ocean eyes.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfiction on Archive of our Own. Sorry if you might see some grammar mistakes!

Ocean eyes.

Warning: Referenced **self-harm**!

Lance lifted the photo standing on his nightstand up, seeing two faces smiling at each other. One of them had his arms wrapped around the other, planting a soft kiss on the other persons cheek. Memories flooded Lance’s mind when he traced his fingers over the glass protecting the photo: the laughing ringing in his ears, the warmth surrounding him from the older boys arms, the tingle on his cheek making its appearance once again. It had been Lance’s graduation which he spent with the love of his life, Keith. He could recall his family being there as well, but his eyes could only focus on Keith’s, blurring his family out of the picture. It got so bad that Lance didn’t hear his name blasting through the speakers when he had to get his diploma, Keith bumping his shoulder against Lance’s arm who by then had flushed pink from embarrassment. It had been half a year since then, and almost a full year since Keith and Lance became a couple. While it was the best time of his life, he could remember some bumps in the road, just like the situation they were facing right now.

 

Keith’s parents weren’t home so he had invited Lance and their whole friendgroup over for a sleepover. The original plan Keith had in mind was to only invite Lance, but with some days of Lance convincing and theatening Keith that he won’t get any kisses from him if Pidge, Hunk and Shiro wouldn’t be there, he gave in and messaged Pidge and Hunk as well as Lance. Shiro is Keith’s older brother, so when he brought up the idea in person, Shiro was more than happy to join. Here they were, in Keith’s bedroom on the ground, blankets, sleepingbags and pillows all over the place. Lance knew Keith sometimes felt uncomfortable whenever he was surrounded by too many people, but the five of them felt like one big family after all the years they’ve spent together.

 

In Pidge’s opinion, it took Keith and Lance long enough to discover their never-ending love for each other. The two of them couldn’t keep their eyes off the other or would seek contact whenever they needed a shoulder to lean on. While Pidge tried to let one of them make the first move, Shiro was patient and scolded Pidge for her behavior. “They need time to figure this out on their own. I understand that watching from the sidelines can be frustrating when you know which direction is the right one to turn them to, but they've got this.” While both Hunk and Pidge knew where Shiro was coming from, all three of them made a bet on who would come out to who first. When they discovered that Keith dared to make the move, Pidge and Hunk were forced to give Shiro their money. Shiro could remember thinking this bet was ridiculous at first, but the smirk wouldn’t leave his lips when he knew he was right. After all, Keith wasn’t the best in dealing with his emotions, so he would spill them out before they drowned him.

 

Little did they know that Lance wasn’t like Keith when it comes to coping mechanisms. In fact, he was like water compared to Keith’s fire. Lance preferred to bottle his feelings up in protection of others their happiness. Although he knew this was a bad method, he couldn’t help but to keep drowning further and further in his own sea of emotions. Laughing and smiling were always one of the first words to float in the air whenever someone described Lance’s personality. People who knew Lance better would know, even by the most unnoticeable move, that there was something hidden behind those laughs and giggles; whether they were fake or would reach Lance’s eyes. Sadly nobody found the courage to bring it up and ask what was wrong or, in Lance’s opinion, nobody should spend their time worrying about someone like him.

 

After watching some movies on the small television in Keith’s room, Lance’s head resting on Keith’s shoulder while he had his arm wrapped around Lance’s body, some of them were either already asleep or yawning. Lance, to Keith’s surprise, was still wide awake, enjoying the comfort of blankets in combination of Keith’s warmth. Keith looked around the room, finding Pidge asleep with her head on Hunks lap while Hunk was softly snoring in his dreams. Shiro, on the other hand, was making his way to the bathroom to brush his teeth, having to force himself in a standing position before he drifted off in his own fantasyworld. In the meantime, Keith and Lance made their way towards their spot in the room, Keith lifting the blanket up from his mattress so he could stick his legs underneath the softness while Lance pulled his sleepmask on, Keith’s fingers gently finding Lance’s as they tangled together between the two mattresses.

 

A few hours later, in the middle of the night, Keith woke up. Trying to give his eyes time to adjust tot he darkness, he sat in a sitting position on his bed. After a few minutes, he could focus on the reason  why the woke up. Small, muffled out sobs echoed through the room and Keith immediately registered from who they were: Lance. Making as little sound as possible, he crawled over to Lance’s mattress, his hands finding Lance’s wet cheeks covered in tears. He carefully lifted Lance’s sleep mask up to reveal he was still asleep, battling his nightmares while trying to get rid of the darkening thoughts in his head. Worry gripped Keith’s heart tightly, trying to come up with an idea to help Lance escape these dreams while also trying not to get kicked in the side by his trashing.

 

Keith never had to do this before. Lance and Keith were a couple for little over a year now, but they hardly ever had sleepovers. While Keith would love to get some extra time with his lover, Lance always declined for one reason or another. He tried multiple times to bring it up, but the reactions Lance gave in return were either a shrug or an excuse why he couldn’t. Keith obviously knew something was wrong, but didn’t know how to face Lance about this topic anymore, so he went to Shiro instead, asking what he should do. “Whatever the reason is Lance isn’t comfortable with sleepovers, he’ll find a way through it. Just give him some time to get used to the idea and he’ll talk to you whenever he’s ready. Don’t blame yourself Keith. You both will solve this, I know you will.” Shiro answered, patting Keith on the shoulder.

 

The fact that Lance came this time is what didn’t only surprise Keith, but Shiro as well, as they both knew Lance declined the idea for months. Keith didn’t know what convinced Lance to come, but he was beyond happy to see his boyfriend at his front door, sleeping bag in hand. That happiness died hard when he looked back at Lance, fighting in his own world which he had difficulties with escaping from. Keith softly tried to say Lance’s name, hoping he would wake up by his voice, and after what felt like countless attempts, he was relieved to see those beautiful ocean eyes staring back at him, tears rolling faster down his cheeks when he met Keith’s eyes. He didn’t hesitate when he wrapped his arms around his lover, Lance clutching at his shirt as a lifeline, making Keith’s heart throb painfully once again. “Shh, it’s okay. I’ve got you.” He drew soothing circles on his back with his fingers, hoping it would calm Lance down in any way.

 

Keith didn’t know if what he would ask would cross Lance’s line of comfort, but at the sight of Lance in his arms, he didn’t want to let go of him. “Hey, do you maybe want to sleep next to me?” Swallowing his nerves down to stay strong for Lance, who was still trying to recover from the nightmare that haunted him, a sad smile crept up on his lips when he felt a nod against his shoulder. Carefully lifting Lance up in his arms, they made the few steps towards Keith’s mattress where they both crawled underneath the covers. Keith lovingly wrapped his arms around Lance while he sunk deeper into Keith’s chest, hugging him as well. They stayed like that, breaths evening out while sharing each others warmth and scent.

 

Just before Keith’s eyes wanted the darkness to consume him, he noticed red lines criss-crossing Lance’s skin just underneath his shirt, his left ribcage defeated by the sharp object that had digged into Lance’s skin. Keith felt his heartrate pick up, realisation hitting him head on. That’s why it’s been months since Lance wanted to come over if it included a sleepover, that’s what was hidden behind those smiles and giggles. Keith felt guilt wash over him, remembering he kept pushing for answers while he could see them glaring at him with anger. He couldn’t tear his eyes away from the scars that Lance had been dragging along with him for God knows how long. He didn’t know how to even bring this up to Lance now that he knew what Lance was going through, didn’t even know how to process this kind of information that was given to him the wrong way. Normally he would go to Shiro whenever he had difficulties with situations he didn’t know how to handle, but this was Lance’s story to tell, not Keith’s. Whatever Lance would go through, Keith will bet here for him, being the shoulder he needed whenever he couldn’t hold himself up anymore. Scars would never make him look any different at his own boyfriend than he did before, but something had to be done, and he will be by Lance’s side, even if it meant he had to drag Lance through his dark road. Keith placed a soft kiss on Lance’s face, rubbing the same soothing circle on his back like he did before. Keith nestled his nose in Lance’s hair, the familiar, comforting scent filling his airway. Without realizing it, he fell asleep, tears slowly leaving his eyes.

 

Shiro was the first to wake up, raising his head to look at his friends. Pidge and Hunk were still next to each other, the blankets Shiro picked up from their beds still wrapped around their shoulders. Then his eyes drifted to Keith and Lance, Lance’s head resting on Keith’s chest while Keith’s hand lay on Lance’s back. The blankets had fallen off their sleeping forms, leaving them only in their pyjamas. Slowly and silently, Shiro tip-toed his way to the couple, pulling the blankets back on both of them. He made his way to the bathroom, his hand holding the doorknob while looking back at his brother cuddled up with Lance, a smile forming on his face. They’ll both solve this, he knows they will.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> If you're at the end of the fanfiction and you have some time left, It would be awesome to know your opinion and if you'd like a following chapter.


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